Supergirl's Written Word

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Well hello there faithful. It’s the resident Supergirl with a new kick ass Blog banner care of a new GFX designer, Luke Snyder. He’s actually pretty awesome and also my cousin! But giving him a quick promo is not what brings me onto my blog; it’s really not why I’m writing at all.

You see there are a few things that have got me on my blog tonight. One is the fact that I haven’t done this often enough. I haven’t really updated you guys since I confirmed my broken ribs just after Cold Blooded. I’m sorry for that guys. There’s just so much going on, and so little time in a day.

For that again I’m really really sorry!

Where do I begin, there’s been the Strange Bedfellows where Isabella smacked me over the head with her damn staff, there’s been the EPIC match against Valerie Belmont; my god that took all too much out of me. But I finally made Val shut the fuck up and compliment me for once. It’s kind of sad though; SVW lead by Moxie came and wrecked the celebration. Oh well, it was still an epic match that NEEDS to get match of the year nominates! (Wink, wink… Nudge, nudge nominate it fans!)

I also got to travel to Aggression and see a sight I never, NEVER want to see again, and that’s Cody Kincaid in a pool of his own blood. I can’t believe the frustration and anger I had. I have been beyond angry with myself since that happened to be honest, I should have been there with him instead of making out with Trix. I should have protected him like I said I would. But it gave more fuel, for me at War Games.

Oh my god WAR GAMES!

Oh hell yes War Games. I can’t believe that match. Wendigo, Sanders, Moxie, Manning… they brought it. They didn’t own it but you could tell they wanted that win just as much as Bella, Stacey, Scar and I did. Hell Scar was out for blood, I haven’t seen her THAT passionate about a match since she broke my ribs in one of our first matches. Hell the woman was ON FIRE!

Everyone keeps talking about my change, my realization that I need to wrestle and not cheat. Well it’s simple Belladonna needs someone she can be proud of both in and out of the ring, I need to be able to provide that to her. She’s not asked me to change, I’ve just chosen to.

But War Games has come and gone, Val is in the past, I’m looking forward to working with ‘Dine and Colleen. The last time we all stepped foot in the same ring together they ended up making me pay for it by attacking me. Now we’re all on the same team, we have to function as such.

I was closely glued to the monitor when the Chase for the Crown was happening. It was an epic match that showcased three of the best rookies in this business and Destiny Loveheart. Now I’ve been one on one with Kassandra, her intensity is just amazing. I’ve watched Wendy out wrestle and outclass Rori. Not to mention her nailing BOTH Donimari and Shadows with a MASSIVE cross body half across the ring. That was just… wow freaking awesome. And Crystal Hilton, I’m not too keen on her; she’s just too much like Moxie for me to give a flying fuck about.

But Hilton, Kassandra, and Briese will be on fire again when they tag for the second time in as many matches. There’s no doubt about that.

This is the present against the future. And Colleen, Undine and I have to prove why we’ve all held the titles. Undine convinced the world that she was good enough when she took it from Jeanette, I was one of the best when I ripped it away from Scarlett, and Colleen was pretty convincing at the Pay Per View when she retained it against ‘Dine. But we all have our history, we all have our Cinderella stories. And we all have to come together, beat a few rookies looking to make us look like fools.

They won’t succeed!

But now it’s time for me to say farewell to the faithful. And thank you for this year of opportunities.

Forever greatful – Supergirl

Robbyn Helmsley ♥

A huge Happy Birthday to FFW, and congratulations Samantha Star!

Injuries Confirmed

Well, well, well... Rumors were true I suppose, and Colleen was smart enough to listen to them. After facing Colleen at Full Frontal I flew home and had X-rays of my ribs taken. Confirming exactly what I knew, broken ribs, two on the left (which are extremely severe) and a nicely fractured one on the right. I am choosing to continue to wrestle, and do my best. I will be cashing in my rematch for the Evolution title when my ribs are better than what they are.

For now Belladonna is making me follow doctor’s orders with plenty of rest. But I can assure you fans that I will be at the shows, and I will be ready to go for the Strange Bedfellows Tag Match on the 16th of April, against Scarlett and Isabella... as reluctant as I may be to tag with Colleen.

As for the assholes that have light up my inbox and direct messages, stop it... I don’t give a flying fuck if I deserved the beating or if Colleen will bring respect back to the belt. I will be getting my title back; better yet I’ll be destroying anyone who stands in my way. This isn’t a game... And I won’t be playing around.

Could Give A damn!

Wow I haven’t done this in a while, and it’s basically because I could give a flying fuck what you all think. You see I’m the Evolution Champion, the one with the gold! I beat your beloved Scarlett Kincaid, and I did it on my terms. I get asked almost all the time, why pepper spray, why did I have to cheat in a match that I could have won cleanly. The answer is simple for all you ignorant fucks out there. I didn’t cheat, using pepper spray wasn’t against the rules. I won the ladder match fair. Enough said about that. I am the Evolution Champion!

But that’s not why I’m doing this blog tonight, that’s not why I’m typing away to all you low life losers out there who have nothing better to do with your life than to research the next best thing in FFW. You know you love me, why deny those feelings? Why say that I’m not the elite? Why say that I’m not the best?

Well, I know that I have a lot to learn, I know that I have more than a few steps to get to the top. I’m just that girl from Deadhorse, Alaska. My dad had this dream for me.My dad knew that I could be someone if I really tried. And here I am; look at me. I’ve been in this company for six months give or take, and I’ve stormed onto the scene. I’ve made myself known as one of the best.

I took on your hero, Scarlett Kincaid, and I beat her. I won, I put the shit stain on her perfect record. She may have Cody, but I have the gold. You have her going against one of the most amazingly talented women I know. Someone that for some sick reason I still look up to. I respect Isabella Pazzini, I look up to her as a wrestler. But as a person, the toilet paper that I wipe my ass with is more valueable. ‘Just sayin’!’

My professional life is going well, makes me smirk from time to time to think of it. Overnight I went from ‘that girl’ to fuckin’ Supergirl, from nobody to a fuckin’ somebody. And I have Cody to thank for that. He got me to sign the contract. Little convincing might I add. Samantha Star took a shot with me. And well. I love this business.

A lot of emails have come in since SVW opened. To help the fans, I’m an FFW Faithful. I will not wrestle for another company, I don’t believe they deserve me. FFW is my home, it’s where my heart is. It’s where my head is. I’ve come across talent in FFW that is unmatched anywhere else. So no! I will not be going over to the SVW Roster. EVER!!

I’ve had more emails since everything became public on twitter. And by everything I am talking about my relationship with Belladonna. I love her, that’s the honest truth. I would do anything to protect her. Now, by saying that I will not interfere in her matches, I will not cheat so that she would win. [s]I couldn’t do that for her.[/s] I couldn’t do that to her. She’s too important to me, for me to be fucking up a match. I love her to death. Even got some ink for her. But I wouldn’t get involved in a match.

I have to go against a woman that just about snapped her neck, I have to go against a woman that damn well almost ended her career, and what I do to Sophia Black will be personal. You can bet your ass on that. But to tag with Scarlett, to actually work with the woman, I don’t know if I can. I don’t know how we are going to function in order to get the win. It doesn’t seem like us, it doesn’t seem like something her and I are capable of doing. I can’t stand her, I don’t want to have her back in any given match. I could give a fuck if she gets hurt or not.

We’ll see when the time is right. I know Scar and I have put or differences behind us from time to time. But that was either for my cousin Rori or for Cody... I’d always put differences aside for Cody though. Everyone knows he’s my weakness. I’m not going to deny it. Cody is my kryptonite. He’s my well... I love him too, just different from the way I love Belladonna. I will compete in this strange bedfellows match, and I will do my best to punish Sophia Black for what she’s done.

~~THE FUCKIN END!!~~

Breaking Point...

Seriously Breaking Point was crazy tonight. I cannot believe the little squirt Sasha almost got the better of me. She is good, really good, and I know I’d not be able to live down a loss to a fourteen year old little shit that has me black and blue! But then again I am Supergirl, and she just so happened to underestimate me!

Next onto those bitches in Violent Delight, believing that I am sleeping my way to the top, seriously they can just go grab their god damn dildo’s and FUCK OFF! But they are really not the people I am so angry and pissed off at...

Amber Carano God I hate that bitch, I shutter every time I pass her in the halls. What the hell I cannot believe she really thinks that Cody and I are more then just friends. Like Val said some misunderstood tweets is all. Cody and I are friends, that have hung out a few times now. And the rumors going around not only the locker room but the world is that we are involved in some sort of cheating scandal. I know one thing for a fact.... I have NEVER done anything with my friend Cody! We watch movies, talk and eat... that’s IT! Nothing more!!!

Fuckin bitch, trying to read into something that’s not there... if you want drama Amber seriously watch Days of Our Lives or As The World Turns but stay the FUCK out of my life please! I’ll give her a hug and get her a bye bye present when she comes back to the next Breaking Point and was unsuccessful in finding any truth between the relationship that isn’t happening between Kincaid and I. Cody loves Scarlett and I can tell...

Not that I mentioned Miss Scarlett, what a wonderful and sweet person she is! We hung out last night and it was fun. I can tell she would be destroyed if she lost Cody, but she’s not bothered about the friendship, and that’s what matters most of all...

Scarlett is an amazing and totally understanding gal! And I talked to her tonight and she’s totally honored to be the ‘Poison’ that I challenged for a main event match during a future Breaking Point or Velocity. I’m stoked to be honest, she’s a wonderful fighter and I can learn more then enough from her. Again she won’t see it coming but I will totally be able to pull this one off and WIN, I’ll have to win, I have the drive and I want some mother-fuckin’ gold round my waist.

*on a side note sorry for all the swearing I’ve had a really good/bad emotionally draining night*

Now to top off my glory, Emma wants a piece of me, seriously she’s amazing, and if I would have been able to guarantee a win against her I would have challenged her, but I simply could not be as confident as I am with my choice of Scarlett.

What the fuck ever, the Champ wants to wrestle the rookie, I’m game.

I’ve always loved being center of attention, ask anyone who has ever know me. This time there’s no exception. The ripples I’m making in this company is just amazing, they are touching everyone, from hanging out with Val Beaumont and her wonderful daughter Chloe backstage on a personal level to drinks with Isabella Pazzini the night before I am to wrestle...

I love everyone looking out for me it feels amazing, but this home-wrecking sleeping to the top type thing is just BULL SHIT... I’m 2-1-0 I won my matches fair and square. In one of them I won over 7 other girls... Like FUCK I’m good at what I do.

So again, I’m sorry I totally vented on this and I feel completely drained after the match and more so after everything going around about my ‘ethics’ and all. I’m off to bed... Another night full of following my dreams and being the best damn wrestler this side of the world...

So to everyone who thinks that I’m fuckin my way to the top, y’all can just go to hell, and for those who are still in my corner thank you for the support.

Much love
Supergirl/ Robbyn Helmsley...

Inside My Head Pt. 1

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Sept 17th

Wow, today has been full of ups and downs, (hasn't every day since she said good-bye), the hurt in my heart when I glance at Morrigan the feelings are unimaginable, I still love her, that's NO lie, and I will never have her in my life again, especially after the pure week of hell that we have been putting each other through. From 'crazy bitch' to sex secrets, yeah it’s been a week of pure HELL. The buzz at the bar is just insane.

Both of us still work at the bar. I'm a bar tender, and she's a waitress, it may just be a little local bar but it's owned by my grandparents. We have our regulars, god do they ever love Morrigan, then again what's not to love about her. The break-up sure makes for an awkward yet entertaining shift. I always want to flirt and she just punches in the orders and walks away. *OUCH!* But maybe it's for the best you know, so the false hope doesn't keep flying.

The shifts I work with her, Maddi usually comes in. Makes me laugh the way Madison will just walk in sit down right at the bar, never at a table, and talk with me most of the night. I can sense some frustration, jealousy even, but it sure is funny, when Maddi makes snarky remarks and Morrigan just gives her the evil look. The two never got along, why should they start now.

But all the games between Morrigan and myself are over, and I don't know who to turn to, my heart will not heal without an actual good-bye. I guess I want a good-bye to the person I thought she was, the person that I fell in love with. This working with her, not talking to her, isn't a good-bye. It is pure torture. But I'll never get a good-bye, that'll never happen, she thrives on my misery. It hurts even now, this very moment when I write this. Especially after her fiancé came in and made it apparent that she was his. I hate PDA! Both Maddi and Keegan were there to try and keep my mind off of it though, laughing and making fun of them.

I know deep down inside that my heart never fully healed from Landon. I never got that closure and to be honest the knife wound is still very much open and fresh. I guess what she did was stitch it up, let it heal and then when the wounds were almost fully healed she ripped the stitches out with her bare hands (fuck, that'll teach me to love someone again.)

I miss Landon, I miss his touch, his smile, his body, and to be honest I miss Landon being a complete asshole towards me and well everyone I care for. I wish I could say I came to terms with the 'break-up' let alone the fact that he beat the hell out of my daughter. Fuck how dense can I get, I haven't even come to the fact that Rori isn't in my life, that she's living with Calleigh and Luke forever now, and I have no access to her because she's in Oakdale and I'm in Deadhorse.

All this pain, frustration, anger, I CANNOT fuckin deal with this anymore. I still LOVE Landon, and you know what I'm still head over heels in love with Morrigan, I'll always care about her too... I hate the fact that I care for her. I can deal with loving her, I can handle those feelings but, I need these caring feeling these need to FUCK off and GO AWAY because they make me weak.

Now everyone knows that Landon was my prince charming, he was my world for so long, the father of my child. He stays on my mind constantly, haunting my every nightmare. I can't seem to shake him from my soul. He and I had something special, something I thought was real, but he was a monster, ruthless and inconsiderate. I could blame his mental problems, the ODD and ADHD (alphabet soup in his head) for his behaviour, but I was the one that fed him the power, he knew I'd never leave him, and if he didn't beat the hell out of Rori, he'd still likely be in our lives.

Morrigan, WOW! Morrigan was my 'angel' beautiful, intelligent, talented, sexy, amazing, overall perfect inside and out. There is nothing wrong with this amazing, woman. Well other then the fact that she's engaged and yada yada. She saved my life the night I lost Rori for good. I wanted to kill myself, I fuckin' wanted to die! There she was, my 'angel' and a best friend saved my life and didn’t let me die. I knew she had always been there for me, I just didn't know to what extent.

God, why did I fall in love with her, why did I tell her the things that I did? Well, I don't regret our ‘relationship’ one bit. Not at all, I'm happy that we had that crazy love affair, and the secret we now share. Right! Shit I guess it’s not really a secret anymore; it’s the secret that I spilled after all was said and done. Lesson learned, DON'T CALL ME A CRAZY BITCH! I don't like it all that much...

But I care for her, FUCK YEAH I care for her do you blame me? She’s tall, blond, killer body, intoxicating eyes she may be a little older than me but FUCK amazing woman I cannot say that fact enough. I still think she's the best! I don't think that I'll ever truly get over her. She ended the relationship without warning, and to be honest it still hurts like hell. I was back to being suicidal, seeing her everyday having to be nice, polite, professional, can my life get any worse?

But days come and go, I think of both of them, Landon and Morrigan, smiling and laughing because I know that I have better now. I may be 'single' but I have two amazing friends. My 'Knights' in shining armour, Maddi and Keegan. Hell I adore them both so much.

Maddi and I have a special relationship; she's my protector from all that is evil in this world. Not allowing anyone to get close to my heart anymore, she believes it's hers to protect, and to be honest she can have my heart as long as it stays safe. Besides, I love Maddi, I just don't know to what extent. I don't know if she could be a lover for me, or just a friend.

Madison's big brother Keegan however, will always stand up and fight for me. He's always loved me; we dated a while back in high school, and I remember drunken karaoke nights at the bar! FREE BEER! All the Open Mic nights that we held there, he would beg and plead with me to get up and sing Fast Car as he played his guitar. He made me promise that he and I would run away one of these years make something out of ourselves. I guess going into FFW I'm trying to make something of myself, and he’s the lucky one that I’m with me.

Talking about my life Landon and Morrigan, dear Maddi and my 'sometimes when I feel like it' boyfriend Keegan. I have no clue what direction I need to go to, nor who will stab me in the back in the end. I’m still so fucked up!

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